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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Burger King to the Rescue?

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints.  If I don’t fight, I’ll eat this planet.

Hi there!  Happy and healthy wishes to you this fine day.  Go out and make a difference today if but only a small one.  Every little bit counts towards the sum of the whole.

Sorry George Foreman.  Besides just eating the planet you will have provided a share in depleting the Earth’s atmosphere, consuming crops, devastating prime crop lands, polluting water resources and proliferating steroids, hormones and who else knows what through generations to come.  The cost of but single hamburger, as tasty as it may be, is simply too high!  Do yourself a favor, research how much grain and feed is necessary to produce that ¼ pound of hamburger.  Did you know that but a single McDaffy’s hamburger has the potential of being a product of more than 1,000 cows???  The ground beef produced by your average hamburger joint derives from a massive slaughterhouse where the carcasses of many, many dead animals are simply blended together before forming that burger.

Home of the BK Veggie Burger

But… I am not sharing anything that each of us is probably not already aware.  Some of us simply wish to “wish it away” as though it isn’t the truth.  That’s everyone’s right to do so.  I shall get off from my high pedestal because I, too, used to be one of the majority who savored a hamburger.  Sadly, I cannot go backwards for an "undo" and must forward with that which I have learned along my way.

First, I apologize.  I did not intend to write a pulpit-driven post this day.  Instead it was my original intent to subject you to a little bit of humor.  Really funny stuff, eh?  Again… please accept my apology and allow my prior words to remain as spoken (written).

Several weeks ago I had logged onto the Burger King corporate site to inquire why my BK Veggie Burger seemed so inconsistent from franchise (store location) to franchise.  In some locations my BK Veggie Burger was the exact equivalent of a Whopper sandwich only substituting a Morningstar Farms® Garden Veggie Patty for the hamburger.  But, in other locations I found the BK Veggie Burger to be built as if it were an ordinary hamburger, sans meatless patty substitution.

I thought that I would ask the corporate powers to be at Burger King why standard franchisee practices were not in place for my BK Veggie Burger.  Exactly what was the proper construction for my sandwich and what should I expect?  If I were an animal flesh eater (-aka- carnivore), my BK Whopper sandwich would taste the same in Omaha, NE as it would in Orlando, FL.  But it simply is not so with my BK Veggie Burger.

To be perfectly honest, I did not actually expect a response from the Burger King people.  I simply thought that I might raise a few eyebrows, if simply not just the Customer Service folks.

Just gotta love those corporate canned response letters?

I was pleased to open my mailbox the other day to find a letter addressed from Burger King but both happy and saddened from what lay within.  I was happy to get a response but somewhat disappointed to the generic nature of its’ content.

It’s obvious that Burger King Corporate Relations has some serious work to be address with their customer relation skills.  After all, if a customer takes the time out of their day to write (or e-mail) correspondence then a response containing at least a little personalization would be in order.  Don’t you agree?  With the exception of my name and my address, there really isn’t anything said in the response.  I can find no true indication that my words had actually be read.

Kewl!  Free animal flesh sandwich!

To further emphasize my point, why would you include a card for a “Free BK Whopper Sandwich” when addressing and replying to a vegetarian???  I will agree that perhaps the card may be applicable to a BK Veggie Burger but wouldn’t you take the time to iterate so on the correspondence?  It could quickly be looked upon as an insult to a vegetarian extremist.

I indirectly work in the customer relations industry.  I do software support and the customer is my prime focus and the one who ultimately pays my check.  If I don’t address their issue to their complete satisfaction then I might find them migrating to a competitor’s piece of software and ultimately have no job.

Really?  What has happened to customer service in this country?  You certainly see spurts and occasional pockets of great customer service but it tends to be the exception rather than the rule.  Maybe it’s simply Chucky and he is just getting too old.  I sure hate the use the expression “the good old days” but I think that I might have to one day soon.

A product by itself is nothing without the reputation, people, and customer service required to make it complete.  I wish I could say that I can go anywhere to get a fast-food veggie burger but I cannot.  However, on the other hand, I can simply stay at home or go to a non-fast-food restaurant to replace my business.

I just found the correspondence a pleasant surprise while, at the same time, quite alarming.  I don’t know where this story may end but I certainly wish to tack on a future post that restores my faith in corporate burger America.

Hi-dee hi-dee what-about-your-customer-service-story-ho my friend?


  1. You have to admit it is just a bit too funny that they sent you a coupon for good ol' American 100% beef!

  2. Hi Anonymous. Haven't you learned anything from Chucky & Tiffany? 100% beef? I think not. A little bit of dead bovine carcass tossed in with a lot of dead bovine fat, steroids, growth hormones, antibiotics, carbon monoxide, ammonia, added salt, GMO's and who else knows what perhaps.

    But... Yes it's perhaps a little bit too funny. I'm only hoping that the BK Customer Support Representative who had handled my case had just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express.