Day #5 - Begin Intestinal Cleanse

"Tastes like apple juice!"

 - Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Top of the morning to you my friend!  May this be nothing short of a truly stupendous day and the just the beginning on of a most marvelous week.

"No more apple juice!"  "No more apple juice!"  What a wonderful feeling indeed.  Although it's certainly not a distasteful drink, I was getting quite tired of it.  For me it was simply too sweet on the lips and palate.  I preferred it much better when mixed heavily with distilled water.  Tiffany and I found that an apple juice smoothie worked best:  about a cup of apple juice and ice cube tray full of distilled water blended in the Blendtec.

This morning begins day #1 of a 3-month intestinal cleanse.  Before each meal we drink our Psyllium seed husk and black strap molasses drink.  Basically, it "scrubs" the intestine and colon.  After 3-months the Master Cleanse will then be much more effective at removing toxins from the body.

This morning Tiffany and I had a few pieces of mixed fruit for breakfast (cantaloupe, watermelon, strawberry, green grape, red grape, and pineapple).  This first solid food breakfast went right through the both of us as we had expected.  The next few days are cautiously designed to ween ourselves back onto real solid food.  Nothing but fresh fruit and veggies today in extreme moderation and a then we introduce ourselves to vegetable soup with plenty of broth for tomorrow's lunch.

Surprisingly, I still haven't had any success in passing my gallstones... yet.  Perhaps today?

I'll share more about our experience tonight and give you an honest assessment of how I feel having done both cleanses. 

Hi-dee hi-dee it's-time-to-take-it-easy-ho my friend.

Day #4 - Kidney & Gallbladder Cleanse

"Show me a smile and I'll show you someone who's not afraid to share some joy."

 - Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Greetings!  May your day be filled with happiness, healthy and hope.

8:30PM Update:  It's been 23 hours and my system still has not discharged the gallstones as a result of the olive oil & lemon juice concoction.  However, on a more important note, Tiffany re-read the cleansing booklet and I was mistaken.  The book recommends 3-months of the Intestinal Cleanse before par-taking the Master Cleanse.  As the Master Cleanse removes toxins from the body, it's best to first cleanse the intestines (3 months of psyllium seed husk + black strap molasses + water before every meal).

This morning concludes an official end to the Kidney Cleanse and last night & today conclude the Gallbladder Cleanse.  Tomorrow begins the Master Cleanse.  All that I have to say is, "Bye, bye apple juice!  Hello lemonade!"

Last night was my final quart of salt water and I had the 1/2 cup of olive oil and 1/4 of fresh lemon juice before heading off to bed.  I expected a very long and miserable night.  I did not have anything except a truly restful night.  Nor did I have a difficult time drinking the olive oil and lemon juice.  It did not taste bad on my buds and I did not experience a single iota of gag reflex.

However, I was suppose to experience gallbladder convulsions and feverish sweats during the night.  I did not.  At this time late in the morning, I have not expelled the concoction nor do I feel any discomfort.  BUT... from what I have read and watched over the Internet, I am truly the exception to the rule of thumb.

I feel terrific, am not the least bit hungry, and feel no worse for the wear.  I'm actually looking forward to the next 10-days of the Master Cleanse (spring water, fresh organic lemon, grade B organic maple syrup, and organic cayenne pepper).  I'll keep on posting the trek towards my healthy goal.

Hi-dee hi-dee onward-to-lemonade-tomorrow-ho my friend.

Day #3 - Kidney & Gallbladder Cleanse

"I've never heard of anyone dying from Mad Tofu Disease!"

 - Anonymous - As Seen on a T-Shirt at 2011 Orlando VegFest

I send greetings and wishes of warmth to you my friend!  May this be nothing except a truly pleasant day.

It's the middle of the afternoon on day #3.  Nothing but pure apple juice, distilled water, and salt for the past two and one-half days.  And the most obvious question, "How do I feel?"  I feel great except I've felt a little worn down later in the afternoons.  It seems like a night of rest gets me recharged again.  I also have the off-an-on mild headaches which I'm still attributing to caffeine withdrawal.

Surprisingly I haven't been hungry except within the confines of my mind.  I'm not physically hungry but visions of solid food keep appearing in my thoughts.  Also, the habit of placing my grubby little hands onto something solid to eat isn't quite satisfied by grabbing onto a glass of apple juice!

This day concludes the "Kidney Cleanse" part but actions tonight and tomorrow tack on the "Gallbladder Cleanse" finale.  Tonight Tiffany and I have to down 1/2 cup of olive oil and 1/4 cup of fresh organic lemon juice before going to bed.

From what I have studied, it won't be an absolutely pleasant experience either.  Basically, convulsions of the gallbladder will purportedly expel anywhere upwards to 50 small gallstones tomorrow morning.  I've prepared myself mentally for an awkward night of rest and active morning tomorrow as my bodily functions do their thing.

After this?  Tomorrow continues as pure apple juice and distilled water except no quart of salt water required tomorrow night!  :)  Monday?  I could conclude this series of cleanses but hope to immediately embark on a 10-day Master Cleanse instead.

So, if all goes well I should be enjoying solid food in 13-1/2 days or so.  Oh yeah... I naturally dropped a bucket load of pounds this morning too!

Hi-dee hi-dee tomorrow-is-a-cleaner-day-inside-ho my friend.

Day #2 - Kidney Cleanse

"How come Glade doesn't make room air fresheners in masculine smells like 'Stock Car Races', 'Camp Fire Smoke', 'Diesel Fuel', 'Honey, I've Been Fishing!', or 'Axel Bearing Grease'?"

 - Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Greetings and a plethora of well-wishes to you my friend!  May you be blessed with a most magnificent day.

It's been one day, 60-ounces pure apple juice, 164-ounces distilled water, and 2-teaspoons non-iodized salt later.  Yours truly kinda forgot how many ounces in a gallon and drank about 1/2 as much apple juice as he could have.  But, on another note, I truly feel satisfied with what I did consume.

Any biological changes?  Of course, when I jumped on the scale I found that I was missing quite a few pounds.  "How many pounds, Chucky?"  Because it's not truly relative to the purpose of our cleanses I prefer to defer in sharing this data, okay?  Other than weight loss, I feel perfectly fine.  I'm no hungrier than I ever am and my only pain are subtle aches in the head which I attribute to lack of caffeine.

It's right before a delicious wake-up breakfast of apple juice and I've checked my blood glucose this morning.  It was 127 which is about normal for me.  Luckily this tells me that the increase sugars from the apple juice aren't being harmful to my internal chains, hoists, and cogs.

Tiffany and I both feel fine although we miss solid food.  Drinking nothing but liquids is so weird!  Two more days for the Kidney Cleanse and we tag on Sunday to complete the Gallbladder Cleanse.  If all goes well, we jump right into the Master Cleanse on Monday.

Hi-dee hi-dee I-know-I-can-I-know-I-can-ho my friend.

The Last (Er... First?) Supper

"Show me five people who think they're perfect and I'll show you five people who haven't a clue."

 - Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Top of this most excellent morning my friend!  May it be filled with happiness, health, and purpose.

I had to leave the office early yesterday for a doctor's visit.  Tiffany met me at the doctor's office and it was over before we know it.  So... It's Wednesday evening and we're about to embark on fourteen days of liquid-only cleansing.  Where to go for dinner?

• Bahama Breeze - Sun-drenched Portobello & vegetable sandwich
• Caffe Positano - Eggplant sub sandwich and white pizza 
• Carrabba's Italian Grill - Pasta Sostanza or Margarita pizza
• Miller's Ale House - Vegetable fajita and veggie wrap
• Pei Wei Asian Diner -any of their stock velveted vegan selections
• Polonia Polish Restaurant - Sauerkraut & cheese pierogi and potato pancakes
• Ravalia's Pasta Bar & Italian Rotisserie - Pasta with marina sauce and a Margarita pizza
• Tijuana Flats - Bean tacos and re-fried bean nachos (power lite)

The winner?  Tough choice with so many contenders but Tijuana Flats won.  But that was last night and now is another day.

It's been a few hours since my delicious gourmet breakfast consisting of 100% pure apple juice and distilled water.  Nope, no coffee.  I am, er.. was a 10- or so cup a day coffee drinker!

But ~ On a good note.  Tiffany tells me that if I am good today she'll reward me with 1-quart of salt water for flushing my system tonight!!!  See... she really does love me!  :)

The only (early) observation so far?  I'm not much of an apple juice fanatic and found the juice to be extremely sweet.  I had to go back and check the bottle's label.  Yep... 100% pure apple juice with no sugars (or anything else, for that matter) added.

Hi-dee hi-dee here-we-go-ho my friend.

One Solid Day Remains

"If I were to believe in reincarnation, I'd pray every single day that I do not return to this planet as human being livestock!"

 - Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Good morning and great day my friend!  I see sunshine (perhaps liquid in some places) and a warm soul in everyone's heart this day.  Man, I sure hope that this comes to fruition.

This is it.  Tomorrow morning's breakfast, lunch and dinner is preordained as 100% unsweetened apple juice and distilled water.  Today?  Well... that's a different story.  <hehe>  We celebrate at a local to-be-determined restaurant tonight with "our last supper".

"Will it be difficult?"  (Uh... The cleansing, not the dining out.)  Most certainly!  But this is the first hurdle that I have jumped my friend.  I truly understand that a full body cleansing isn't without effort and some amount of pain.

"Will you and Tiffany succeed, Chucky?"  That's not a brilliant question!  (Er... Why did I type it then?)  It's my sincerest desire to complete the full process.  But I'm not stupid and ignorant enough to continue when signs tell me otherwise.  I'll be strong and diligent but not blind and stupid.  (Er... Some who know me might say otherwise.)

Enjoy your day.  I'll type more tomorrow.

Hi-dee hi-dee tomorrow-is-a-healthier-day-ho my friend!

Cleansing Hocus Pocus?

"There is perhaps a scientifically valid reason they call them 'fast food' rather than 'delicious food' or 'healthy food' franchises?"

 - Chucky - The Fat Vegetarian

Hi!  May happiness and healthy overwhelm your day my friend!

I've been doing some research on fasting recently.  For every proponent I find an equally stanch opponent.  I suppose it depends on simply too many factors to make one's judgment an easy one.  Are you over-weight?  Are you experiencing underlying health issues?  Are you under doctor’s supervision?  The questions are practically limitless.

Tiffany and I?  We're choosing to do this for purely health reasons and I subscribe to the belief that any weight loss is temporary weight loss.  I subscribe to the principle that it's basically a "starvation diet".

"Then why do the cleanses, Chucky?"

I was reading WebMD.com yesterday during my lunch hour.  They happen to be one of the many opponents of this cleanse I have stumbled upon.  However, I beg to differ with some of their observations and conclusions.

They take the argument that the human body is designed to cleanse toxins which we humans consume.  They argue that this is the functionality of the liver, the kidneys, the intestine, etc.

I somewhat challenge this point-of-view.  Back when humans were cave people, I might agree.  Our ancestors ate wholesome and natural meats, berries, fruits and vegetables.

Take us to the 21st century.  We managed to pollute our waters, our air, and our foods with pesticides, hormones, steroids, GMO's, etc.  We're expected to believe that a body designed for healthy intake is capable of taking on the added crap we humans have added onto the plate over the centuries?  I think not friend.  That's akin to thinking that we can operate our gasoline engines with 50% added water isn't it?  Psst... Please DO NOT try this, okay?

Hi-dee hi-dee utilize-knowledge-with-a-hint-of-wisdom-ho my friend.

T Minus 3 Until Fasting

"If you've truly been treating others as you wish to be treated, just how have you been treated so far today?"

 - Chucky the Fat Vegetarian

Hello.  I wish each and everyone nothing short of a truly stupendous day!  If you've been a good custodian & steward of our planet Earth and all of its inhabitants then you deserve this day.

"Uh-oh!  What ludicrous concoction or event has Chucky and Tiffany been staging this time?"  Before I proceed, let me preface my acknowledgement that there may be little scientific basis for our planned fasts.  However, I am always the first to believe that "mind over matter" can accomplish incredible feats.  No matter how crazy something may seem, if you believe it to be helpful the mind can make it so.  Its my sincere belief that the mind is potently capable medicine.

I've been both fat and happy most of my lifetime.  Why is this so?  Conventional wisdom dictates me to be an unhealthy and deteriorating soul.  How then can I be content and happy with my own being?  The mind!  I don't allow myself to ponder and dwell on my half empty glass.  Heck!  That glass still has something in it my friend.

In a nutshell, here is what we have planned:

• Intestinal Cleanse:  Today, tomorrow, Wednesday, and after completion of fasting in approximately 2 weeks (3 months minimum).  Psyllium husks + black strap molasses + water before every meal.
• Kidney Cleanse:  Thursday through Saturday (3 days).  Apple juice + distilled water + olive oil + lemon juice + salt water.
• Gallbladder Cleanse:  Sunday (4 days, inclusive of Kidney Cleanse) - Gallbladder Cleanse.  Apple juice + distilled water + salt water.
• Master Cleanse:  Monday through following Wednesday (10 days).  Lemon juice + maple syrup + cayenne pepper + water.

We scurried around town yesterday buying distilled water (8 gallons), organic 100% apple juice (8 gallons), 100% tomato juice (1 can), olive oil (1 small jar), black strap molasses (1 jar), psyllium husks (2 cups), 100% organic Grade B maple syrup (1 bottle), organic lemons (1 bag), and an extra hand-held lemon juicer.  We looked like health nuts on a mission.

I plan two things:  (1) try to post daily with an update and (2) cease if and when things don't appear to be working out.

Wish us luck!

Hi-dee hi-dee a-well-planned-cognizant-change-isn't-necessarily-bad-ho my friend.