“Manufacturing
and commercial monopolies owe their origin not to a tendency imminent in a
capitalist economy but to governmental interventionist policy directed against
free trade and laissez faire.”
I graciously
extend my sincerest wish that you have nothing short of an extremely fabulous
day my friend. However, the caveat being
that my wish alone cannot make my desire come true. Be positive, keep positive, to make positive.
 |
| Yes. This is a swamp. This is Florida. We have many. |
Chucky
wants to go down Memory Lane today.
Many, many moons ago when Chucky graduated school and took his first job
in high-tech manufacturing he was eager and gun-ho to make nothing short of
favorable impressions. My first “real”
job dealt with the manufacture of integrated circuits (“computer chips”) in
what we affectionately called “The Silicon Swamp” (Melbourne/Palm Bay, Florida). We who produced world class I.C.’s in Florida
considered our Florida location to be as good, if not superior, to our
counterparts in “The Silicon Valley” (San Jose, California). You literally drove your car for miles and
miles through prime Florida swamp land (through the Deseret Ranch in
Florida) to arrive at this high-tech mecca where I.C.’s were being made.
Anywho…
Without going into too much detail my job was basically supporting the entire
manufacture process of these computer chips.
In the early years, the better part of my day was spent in the midst of
the humongous I.C. test area ("Test Floor"). Imagine an
enormous building where literally hundreds of machines and employees
were electronically testing countless bins of computer chips. Now imagine Chucky standing in the midst of
this organized havoc ready to test a specially selected box of engineering
prototype chips.
 |
| Integrated circuit (die and bonding) |
If
you ever thought that I was proud of my Hollywood movies, you have not seen
anything my friend! I was young, on top
of the World, thought that I knew everything, and certainly knew that I would
conquer and impress all who crossed my path.
If I only had a cape and some additional super powers back then, huh?
My
job this day was to test a production lot of military grade integrated
circuits. They had to be subjected to
and pass electronic testing at three temperature extremes: -55oC “low temp”, +25oC (“room temp”) and
+125oC (“high temp”). The success or
failure of my task this day would be scrutinized and measured by my peers and
management. I wanted to have absolute
flawless success! I could accept nothing
short of a spectacular performance.
Second best just wouldn’t do.
I was
a smart punk kid. I knew the logical
testing succession was low temp and then high temp to dry out any
moisture from the test chamber. After both temperature extremes
I would be required to open up the electronic chamber and allow it to cool to
room temperature before completing my daily task.
In
accordance with binding military specification requirement; at each task along
the way I summoned an authorized (certified) Calibration technician who
calibrates and certifies the machine accuracy.
As duly noted by their signature and stamp on the processing document, I
have met environmental calibration requirements before proceeding with my
electronic tests. I would be thorough,
meticulous, and precise in adhering to all military requirements &
standards. No-one would meet a military
firing squad on my watch!
I
stood tall. I stood proud. And I stood 4-foot that day standing beside
my test station screening the devices!
My dagger was safely tucked in the back pocket of my overalls as I
proudly commenced forward through my testing.
The
calibration process was simple really. I
walk into the Calibration Lab that was adjacent to the Test Floor. I walked up to a huge white board, picked up
a marker, and signed my name, the workstation number that I was at, the current
time and the temperature that I requested to be calibrated.
So…
Initially, I walked into the “Cal Lab” and wrote “Chucky, Station ABC, 10:05 AM, -55oC” on that big overwhelming
white board. I walked out to the test
station and stood there awaiting the Calibration Tech’s arrival. Within a few reasonable moments, they
arrived. We exchanged pleasantries and I
introduced myself as “one of the new guys”.
“I work for John Doe
upstairs. I work in the Engineering
department.”, etc. They inserted
their calibrated measurement equipment into the environmental test chamber,
waited the allotted period of time, confirmed that I was good-to-go, and
certified my processing document. I was,
indeed, in high heaven. I then proceeded
to test all devices until done.
An
hour or so later (I cannot recall exact times) I was complete. Time to crank that chamber up to +125oC. Once the equipment was up to the desired
temperature, I again walked into the Cal Lab and re-signed the behemothic white
board, “Chucky, Station ABC, 1:15 PM,
+125oC”. Again… I waited. Again… Someone soon arrived, ran the
calibration measurements, provided their blessings and let me get back to my
certified testing.
Wow! Chucky is kicking it! One more test iteration and I can go back
upstairs to my office and rejoice.
Having subsequently tested many, many more production lots during my
lengthy Silicon Swamp career I can clearly remember that it took MUCH more time
to bring the test chamber down from +125oC to +25oC than it did to dry it out
(-55oC to +125oC). For the sake of my
tiresome story, let’s say that it took only an hour to get that machine down to
+25oC.
Oh yeah! The environmental chamber had a nickname. In the Engineering department we
affectionately referred to the Daymarc tester as a “R2D2”. It had a very strong resemblance to R2D2 of
Star Wars movie fame, only much bigger. Sorry... I was unable to find an image of the Daymarc 4100.
 |
| This is the R2D2 and not the Daymarc. |
I
walked into the Cal Lab and promptly wrote “Chucky,
Station ABC, 3:15 PM, +25oC” on that imposing white board. Again, I walked back out into the Test Floor
and waited. I waited. I waited.
And I waited. What gives here? Where IS the calibration technician?
I
walked back into the Cal Lab and found that my entry had been erased! Being of acute intelligence I quickly
deducted that someone must have erased it by accident thinking that it had
already been handled. So… I, again,
recorded “Chucky, Station ABC, 3:15 PM, +25oC”
on that board.
Back
at Test Station ABC I waited and waited and waited. What the heck is going on here??? Believe me you… Chucky was getting
frustrated. I haven’t got all day guys!
So… I
walked back into the Cal Lab. Guess
what? Yes… You guessed it. Someone had erased my request once
AGAIN. This time I wasn’t going to go
easily. For a third and obviously more
notable demanding time I wrote “CHUCKY, STATION
ABC, 3:15 PM, +25oC” on that d#$%^@ white board!
No! This is not good enough. I waited until the first sign of life entered
into the Cal Lab and promptly informed the tech while pointing to my latest
white board entry, “What’s going on
here? This is the third time that I’ve
come in here and had to make my request.
I’ve been waiting since 3:15 PM and really need to get my
testing done.” The tech had an
initial look of shock on their face, walked over to the white board, erased my
entry and asked, “So… You’re Chucky?”
“Yes I am.”
“You’re
new here, right?”
“Yes.
I started a few weeks ago.”
“Hang
on just a second Chucky. Okay?”
This
is good, I thought to myself. He has
gone to get his supervisor.
A
second or two later the tech returns with another Cal Lab team member by his
side. Tech One looks at Tech Two and
explains “This is Chucky. He’s new here
and started a week or so ago.” “Remember
those +25oC calibration requests on the white board?” “It was Chucky who was writing them.”
I was
really feeling good. Finally! My requests are getting heard and getting
some prompt attention.
Tech
Two looks at me and sympathetically asks, “So Chucky, you want a +25oC
calibration at Station ABC. Right?”
“Right!”
My little plastic eyeballs were probably gleaming bright.
“+25oC.” “Right?”
“Yes.”
“Thanks!”
Well
you’ll have to close your eyes and simply imagine my demeanor when Tech Two
takes his index finger, sticks it quickly in his mouth, holds it up highly in
the air and says to me… “Yep, Chucky.” “It’s
frickin’ (word substitute) in here dude.”
As I
was standing proudly outside on the Test Floor by Station ABC awaiting my room
temperature calibration there were several technicians inside the Call Lab
wondering just who is the smart-arse who keeps writing “Chucky, Station ABC, 3:15 PM, +25oC” on the white board. It wasn’t funny and was beginning to get really
old!
I may
not remember much from those Silicon Swamp days many, many moons ago. But, I can assure you that I never again
asked for test equipment calibration for room temperature (+25oC) testing!
What is your "I will never forget" story?
Hi-dee
hi-dee if-you-can't-laugh-at-yourself-then-you-need-to-loosen-up-ho my friend?
