bər
–noun
1.
the tenth month of the year, containing 31 days. Abbreviation: Tof.
2.
the month in the year 2010 which Chucky and Tiffany elected to live a vegetarian lifestyle.
Origin, Concatenation:
1875–80; < Japn tōfu < MChin, equiv. to Chin dòufu ( dòu bean + fǔ turn sour, ferment)
bef. 1050; ME, OE < L Octōber the eighth month of the early Roman year, equiv. to octō- octo- + -ber, on the model of September, November, December; see December
As Tofuber winds to an end, Tiffany and I find ourselves in quite the quandary. What specific lifestyle changes shall we try? Eat eggs? Switch from dairy milk to an alternative such as almond milk? Go organic? Go humanely sustained farm products such as free-range chicken eggs? Locally produced cheeses?
So many questions and so many choices. Perhaps we should address each individually as there are so many directions to go in this herringbone maze? Here is what Tiffany and I are thinking.
Eggs:
We (er, "Chucky") cannot give up my eggs because there exists absolutely no vegan/vegetarian egg substitute that emulates the a delicious & nutritious over-easy fried egg. At least we haven't been introduced to any so far.
However, on the other hand, we have decided to try locally grown "animal friendly" farms for our real eggs. We used to purchase our eggs from Costco but have since determined the source to be commercial mega-farm. Our new favorite markets, Hoovers and Eat More Produce, sell local organic eggs.
We will continue to use Kirkland Egg Starts (Costco) which is real egg.
We're basically taking a pseudo approach with regard to egg. Tiffany and I are more concerned regarding the growth hormones and antibiotics fed to the hens who lay the eggs. Free-range organic appears to be a simple choice.
However, on the other hand, we have decided to try locally grown "animal friendly" farms for our real eggs. We used to purchase our eggs from Costco but have since determined the source to be commercial mega-farm. Our new favorite markets, Hoovers and Eat More Produce, sell local organic eggs.
We will continue to use Kirkland Egg Starts (Costco) which is real egg.
We're basically taking a pseudo approach with regard to egg. Tiffany and I are more concerned regarding the growth hormones and antibiotics fed to the hens who lay the eggs. Free-range organic appears to be a simple choice.
Milk:
We've recently tried almond milk and both like it. In addition, we feel that we consume enough alternative food sources to account for missing dairy milk calcium (kale, collard greens, nuts, tofu, etc.).
We've recently tried almond milk and both like it. In addition, we feel that we consume enough alternative food sources to account for missing dairy milk calcium (kale, collard greens, nuts, tofu, etc.).
Almond milk tastes great and we can blend our own. To date, I can honestly state that I have read no reports of almond farmers injecting their trees with growth hormones or antibiotics. I have heard tall tales of farmers tossing cow poop throughout their almond orchards! However, I cannot picture anyone spreading poop around to help grow their crops. Can you believe the stuff you find on the internet these days?
Cheese:
Love it! Dairy cheese, that is. But Chucky's doctor isn't the biggest fan of him consuming any cholesterol laden food. "Chucky. If you keep on that high cholesterol regiment your movies days are numbered, son!" the doc preached.
Alternatives? I'm working on it. It's an experiment just begun. Alternative cheese #1 isn't the best for simply snacking but appears to be quite acceptable in grilled cheese sandwiches. The perfect non-dairy snacking cheese? It's out there. I've simply have to locate it.
Meat (pre-Tofuber):
OMG!!! And, what about all of that meat in the freezer from pre-Tofuber days??? Hmm... Remember those days?
It's being discussed but no definitive plans. Tiffany and I have discussed two approaches to its' eradication, neither of which is "Stab! Stab! Stab!"
OMG!!! And, what about all of that meat in the freezer from pre-Tofuber days??? Hmm... Remember those days?
It's being discussed but no definitive plans. Tiffany and I have discussed two approaches to its' eradication, neither of which is "Stab! Stab! Stab!"
1) Proclaim Saturdays as "Slaughterdays".
Assuming that we can stomach it, dine on left-over freezer meats
(steak, chicken, pork, fish) until it's either gone or tossed with the
garbage. We shall restrict this ritualistic carnivore activity to one day
per week which shall be proclaimed "Slaughterday".
garbage. We shall restrict this ritualistic carnivore activity to one day
per week which shall be proclaimed "Slaughterday".
2) Love thy neighbor and feed thy family.
We are lucky to have a fantastic family of four as neighbors. For the
better portion of meats in our freezer, we're considering simply passing
them along. They would be appreciated, consumed and result in
win-win for both neighbor and us.
Okay. It's not exactly "Love" to pass along meat to a friend, is it? But
we're not changing their personal preference and it's not as if we're
passing along something we would not have eaten ourselves prior to
Tofuber.
This will prove to be a difficult and interesting predicament indeed. Can we eat meat after 31 days without? I highly suspect, "No." I cannot fathom taking a bite of shrimp or taste of grilled steak and truly enjoying it. I suspect thoughts of chemicals, additives, and non-natural substances being digested within my stomach may do involuntary things. Yeah... Exactly!!! Sorta like having a mini-me (mini-Chucky) inside of me, "Stab! Stab! Stab!"
Let us know what you'd do! Help save Tiffany & Chucky from the horrors of their life path choices.
Hi-dee hi-dee ho my friends!
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